There’s something about this that I like, but something about this that bothers me.
Now I’ve never dated outside my race and while that mostly has to do with the rampant racial discrimination I’ve encountered along with my indoctrination of the beauty of black men and my love of the n-word, I find that as I get older and the pool of eligible black men gets smaller and smaller that options outside my race may be viable.
Y’all know my policy for loving black women. If you love black women, I love you. Point blank. At this point in my world I don’t care if you love that dark chocolate skin, or that crazy, kinky hair, or that sassy attitude, or that big booty, or that ridiculously stereotypical attribute that you’ve assigned to the brown sugar colored object of your affection. Dangit I’ll take every crazy question about baby oil and cocoa butter that you have and even consider them compliments.
Parade me to your friends, let them know that I am the foremost front on all things black. Your best friends should definitely speak to me only in slang and I’d really appreciate if anytime I walked into a room they would put on old school hip hop or their version of neo-soul (Remy Shand anyone?). Tell your mom to just shove that hand all in my hair and tell your dad that I’m super impressed that he slept with a black girl during the early ’80s.
And yes, I’m being cheeky, but this brings me to the conundrum of this whole thing, and really the crux of my issue with dating outside my race. Just as a white guy wouldn’t know how to be in a mixed relationship, I don’t know how to be either. Because I’m never going to see him as just a guy, he’ll always be my white boy and I don’t know if that’s a problem or not. I kind of like the idea of being my paramour’s “African queen, mother of the Earth” and I don’t think I would be any less of that with a white guy, but what does it mean with white guy saying it me?
On one hand it’s like, “LOVE ME FOR ME!” and on the other hand it’s pretty freaking hott. I mean honestly -and I’m being so honest here- there’s something about someone saying they love you for all the reasons that you’ve been taught to hate about yourself. Thick hips, dark skin, big lips, wide nose, kinky hair, etc etc. All of these things that you’ve been learned to “tolerate” and you’ve “settled with” or you’ve been told to “fix”, someone out there who is not of your race and didn’t grow up with is all, “Holy crap, that’s awesome!” and there’s something about that I just LOVE.
Where it becomes a problem I find is the same place it always becomes a problem with whitefolk (bear with me you guys) in that they ALWAYS TAKE IT TOO FAR! Don’t start wearing dashikis, don’t put out a hip hop mixtape, don’t trash other women in the guise of complimenting me, don’t blame my opinions on being a sassy black woman, don’t laugh at me for worrying what other black people think, don’t act like you’re not white (unless you’ve always been not white), and don’t go the polar opposite and be suuuuuper white and pretend that I’m not black.
I don’t know, I guess it’s individual and when my day comes I’ll probably completely laugh at this entire facebook status. Till then, I shall ponder, and drool over hot white guys and wonder… what if?